I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
