Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
