dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
