...so i touched it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
