why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
