you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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