If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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