Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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