So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
