what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
