I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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