every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Found your dick twin last night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
how does that bad decision feel?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
