the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
