Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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