we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
