If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
