D3 body, D1 cock
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
