"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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