she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
