And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
