In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
