it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Girls should come with a carfax report
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
