Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
