Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
