Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
