He kissed a someone with a penis
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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