so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
