if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
