We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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