I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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