Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
