so that wasnt chicken after all
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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