I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's Friday. Sex?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
