Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The air taste purple.
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