I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
