i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Couch. On fire.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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