Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you mean i was at the winter classic?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
