I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
