You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
