Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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