I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
