We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
