i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
