is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i believe in u and ur pee
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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