OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
