That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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