as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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