Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
