His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
