maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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