R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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