Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
