never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
