I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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