i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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