The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
