No stitches, just platelets and will power
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
